How are you?

I'm tired. So very tired.

It’s a question we all ask and answer multiple times a week. By this point in life, I’m sure you’ve also had conversations about how surface-level that question typically is. Are people really asking? Or is it just what we say when we see someone, waiting for the “Good, fine thanks, how are you?” I remember, when Jeremy first died, being asked that question for the first time at my local coffee shop where I was a regular. I had an urge to say, “My world just fell apart. My husband died by suicide, I don’t know how to breath anymore, I have two little boys depending on me and I can’t even make my brain work enough to make mac n cheese. How are you?” I pulled myself back and answered, “I’m okay.” I couldn’t even look the barista in the eyes because I felt like I was straight out lying.